Accepting the Small Things

 My Father died when I was three years old. I never really knew him. I think I remember him but I can’t honestly be sure.

I have a vague memory it is blurry. It might be him but it could also be someone else. I looked at his picture today. I almost forgot what he looked like.

 I’m sure he would have been a good father and done his best like all or most father’s try to do. He had all girls. My half sisters. I am younger then them so they really got to know him. 

My mom was basically a single mother.

She met my Godfather who was really like my dad. 

He raised me. He taught me a lot of things. He loved me unconditionally. He soothed me when I had a nightmare. He never had children of his own so really I was his daughter in all the ways that mattered. 

Maybe not by blood but I’ve learned there is more to a relationship and family then being related to someone by sharing the same DNA.

Unfortunately, he passed away around Father’s day when I was 18 years old. But, I got to spend 15 years with him. 

Today I will be remembering both my fathers. 

 After I lost my godfather it was a very depressing time for me. We had to move suddenly. We moved from Chicago to where we live now.

I had a hard few years. You never really get over the loss of a loved one. And it is still hard on holidays. 

 But, it also made me realize that there is so much beauty in even the small moments. Sometimes we are so busy we forget to take the time to look for the small things. 

Today, I was playing with my cats chasing them around the house. It is these moments that can be small but also precious. 

 Sipping on a hot cup of coffee or tea. It can be so simple but such a delight. 

 It is also about having gratitude and accepting the things people have to offer us. I’ve always been miss independent and never really relied on other people. Even when people where being genuine it was hard for me to accept kindness. Even accepting a dollar coffee from someone was a struggle. I still do not like accepting things but when I realize it comes from a genuine place it makes it easier.

 Today I am grateful for the small things in my life. I am grateful for the gifts I am given from others not just on a physical level but also advice, time, and kindness.

Sometimes we don’t realize how one kind word or action can really brighten up someone’s day and make it that much better. I have come across these people in my life. They are like my angels. And I am so grateful for them.

It also has made me pay it forward and try to live this way towards others. Lending someone a shoulder to talk to. Sending someone a nice note to say thank you for taking the time to do the small things. Things that people do not have to do but do because they genuinely want to help. These are mini miracles.

 Today I feel a mixture of sadness but I also feel so blessed.