Turning Should Into Must

If you Believe that you have something special inside of you, And you feel it’s about time you gave it a shot, honor that calling in some small way- Today. If you feel a knot in your stomach because you can see the enormous distance between you and your dreams and your daily reality, do one thing to tighten your grip on what you want- Today. If you’ve been peering down the road to must but can’t quite make the choice, dig a little deeper and find out what’s stopping you-Today. Because there is a recurring choice in life, and it occurs at the intersection of two roads. We arrive at this place again and again. 
-The Crossroads of Should and Must

I kept feeling a niggling inside of me. A nudging to do something. A bigger calling and soul purpose. But, for a long time I’ve struggled with what my calling is, my soul purpose, my MUST.

I realized for such a long time I’ve been living a should life. The things I felt like I should be doing. At times this got in the way of my must. A must is more than a passion. You can have many passions and passions fade over time. A must is what stirs your soul. It calls you back to it again and again. You don’t feel complete if you are not doing your must. A must is something you would do and probably do even do for free. But, getting paid for it is the dream.

For me that has always been writing. I got away from it for awhile. But, as musts do they usually come back around. And start screaming at you to get your attention. I also have gotten back to dance. When I was a teenager I loved to dance. It was always a little too strict for me at times. I prefer free movement. That is always when I felt the most free. Dancing in my living room and putting on plays instead of dancing in a class. When I was really struggling I heard about Qoya and Kundalini dance from a telesummit I was watching online. (Anyone else addicted to those?) But, I’m always finding so many gems from them.

Slowly my musts, my soul calling, my purposes are coming back around. It’s funny that most of these things I enjoyed as a little girl. I think our soul always knows what our calling and true purpose is even if as we get older we try to live by should’s. If our family wants us to be a doctor but we want to be an actor then slowly but surely our dreams get tucked in a corner and we forget about them. Until it seems like we have no choice but to resurrect them.

Let Yourself Be Silently Drawn by the Strange Pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.- Rumi 

The other day I spent a couple hours coloring in a coloring book. I forgot how fun and peaceful that can be. How therapeutic it can be to let my inner child come out and play. It was inspired by reading Madly in Love with Me by Christine Arylo. Why is self-love such a dirty term? I hate the saying that you have to love yourself first before you can love anyone else. I don’t think that’s true. I think having the right partner who loves you for who you are can actually be very healing. But, it’s also true that we need to be our own best friend first and foremost. I believe a partner should be a best friend but we also need to give to ourselves as well. Self-care is not selfish as long as we have balance. A relationship get’s out of alignment when we neglect ourselves in the process. There is nothing wrong with being our own best friend. I think it’s a necessity to care for ourselves. It’s a necessity to go after our dreams and follow our MUST.

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