Battling and overcoming a defeatist mentality mindset
This morning I listened to a mediation on Insight Timer called “release defeatist mentality,” I have been struggling with defeatist and perfectionist mentality for most of my life. I feel like if I’m not “great” at something or I am not doing my best at it then I should just quit and give up.
This past week it was with my weight, exercise, and eating healthy. Sometimes these things feel like a chore and a sacrifice. Like I’m giving up my favorite foods. But, I see I’ve been looking at it the wrong way. It is not sacrifice it is recovery from using food and booze to make myself feel better emotionally. And it’s not like I can never eat cheesecake again or have a drink (I am not physically addicted to booze) But, using these things to cope with emotions can cause more harm then good in the long run.
Having the attitude of all or nothing has been my defeatist mentality. Having the attitude of perfectionism has been a defeatist mentality. Thinking I’m not good enough so why bother anyway has been a defeatist mentality. Lately I’ve been learning and realizing that it does not have to be all or nothing. Balance and moderation are perfectly acceptable and healthy (Unless you have a physical addiction or a chemical imbalance. If this is you please seek help. My blog is not for addiction or treatment for addiction. )
For a long time I’ve given up before I even really started. I’ve stopped and started exercise and eating healthy many times. But, this time I am taking baby steps and even though at times it is hard I’m trying to let go of this defeatist mentality. This I’m a failure so why bother attitude. In the past I’ve burned myself out with over exercise. It’s really about listening to my intuition when it comes to food and working out. Some days I need more some days I’m fine with less. Maybe some days I need more self-care and other days I’m fine with less. Just as long as I don’t give up completely on my goals and positive habits that I’m trying to build and maintain.
I realize for many years I neglected self-care. This made me grumpy and then I would take it out on other people. I ruminated in my defeatist pessimistic mentality. Now I always try to be positive and I’ve always tried to be a light for others but not when it came to myself. But, I’ve been learning as Richard Rohr said “If we do not transmit our pain, we will most assuredly transmit it.” I still struggle with self-care and with dealing with my own emotions and pain but I am doing the work. The work of recovery.
