I started a writing course or you could even call it a life course really.
A Year of Writing to Uncover the Authentic Self By Rachel Astor on DailyOm.com
Of course, like most things, I started it and then gave up. I was too tired, too busy, etc….. You can read more about the things I’ve quit in my new blog post 5 Habits of a Woman who doesn’t quit.
But, I recently restarted the course and am digging deep this time. I decided to share my journey with you and over on my Substack. Which, is completely free to subscribe to. So, I would love your support over there as well. I have more plans for my Substack in the future but I don’t quite have it all figured out at the moment. But, these are the two places you can find me these days. And occasionally on Instagram. And Hopefully YouTube again soon.
The first weeks’ questions/prompts are all about Roadblocks. I won’t give away all the questions because obviously if you want to delve more into it then I encourage you to sign up for the course. All you have to do is make a donation. I believe there are three amounts to choose from. And the first choice is usually lower but of course, if you can give more that would help to support the author of the course. And no this is not sponsored or affiliated with them in any way so I make no money if you sign up.
The thing that has stood the most in my way has been myself. Honestly, I let doubt, fear, and self-criticism creep into my system. I was thinking of restarting my Youtube channel this week and that didn’t pan out. Of course, I feel like I can do better so I want to do better. But, mostly I am just hard on myself.
I can only imagine how my life would change if I stopped standing in my own way. It’s not that I’m not happy but I have moments of doubt and fear. Especially when it comes to the future. Especially when it comes to a job and money. I see all these things I want for myself and my husband. A car, a house, kids, great money. And it feels so far away sometimes.
I remember when I wrote My Bucket List years ago. And sadly, most of those things haven’t happened. Luckily, one of the most important things did happen. I married the love of my life.
The longest-running obstacles in my life have been my anxiety and finances. I took an inventory today of all my old money beliefs and a lot more came up than I imagined.
- Not believing that I am deserving of financial success, wealth, and abundance
- That wanting money and success is greedy
- That money and success are hard to come by
- You need money to make money
- My family has always been poor
- It is hard to Save Money.
And then I changed these beliefs to:
- I AM Deserving of financial success, wealth, and Abundance.
- Wanting money to help others is charitable, benevolent, generous, and philanthropic.
- Money is easy to come by.
- It is easy to make money.
- It is easy to save money.
I have come a long way from the obstacles I’ve faced in the past. I sought help for my anxiety and depression. Now I take medication, get counseling, and have a therapist. This has helped me to make many outward steps in my life. Like finding a job outside of working for the family, going back to school, Finding my husband and getting married, and now attending a weekly bible study and making friends.
I have overcome obstacles with foreclosure and being kicked out of the house I lived in with my mom and grandma. Plus, two apartment evictions. Because of my family’s financial situation. But, now I have a lovely little apartment with my husband and my cat Luna. Do I want something bigger and for us to own our own house yes. But, I am trusting that God has a plan and a purpose for this season of my life.
